Lord, High and Holy, meek and lowly,
Thou has brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold
thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter
thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty
thy glory in my valley.

--from The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

Breathe On Me Now

When my soul has cried its tears
And my heart begins to faint
Will You draw near
Will You meet with me
When my days are filled with longing
And my spirit groans and waits
Will You draw near
Will You meet with me
I'm calling and waiting
Your presence Lord is life to me

Breathe on me now as I bow down
I'm desperate Lord for more of You
Come satisfy until I
Am even more in need of You

When my dreams have been forgotten
And my hope begins to fade
Will You draw near
Will You meet with me
When my days are filled with searching
And my strength has given way
Will You draw near
Will You meet with me




--
i know i said that i'll post on what i've learnt in the exchange life, well..maybe i'll do that soon.
but now its not really a right time for me to do so.
pray for me, though I understand the exchange life, i still have some stuff preventing me from really making the exchange.
sorry my thoughts are all jumbled up.
maybe im just at this point --confused.
and i dun know when i can be un-confused.
well, well. will appreciate ur prayers. thanks. (:


Your presence Lord is life to me...

today is Mother's Day.
funny how we set aside one pathetic day to remember our mums when we should actually be grateful and thankful for them everyday of our lives. why? cos who are we to say that we will live to see tomorrow? Our lives are in God hands and it is He who decides our time.

this post is dedicated to my dearest mum, whom i love so dearly.
though she may not get to she this, i want to give a public testimony to thank my mum. :)

dearest mum,
i have so much to say to you.
so where do i start?
firstly, a very Blessed Mothers Day to you!
i have two songs and two verses for you and after that im going to say more stuff.
enjoy.

I Love You a song paraphased from We Love You by the Herbster Trio
From the day that I was born,
I felt the love within your heart.
You have led in so many godly ways,
and helped to cleanse the inward parts.
You have taught me from God's Word
and soon I made Him Lord of all.
And now with a very grateful heart,
sweet memories I'll recall.

O Mum I love you.
I rise up and call you blessed.
You've taught me in the way to go
and I will not depart.
There's never been a day,
when I wondered if you loved me.

As the Lord moves me on,
O the blessings we will share.
You have reared me on God's Word,
and you have bathed me much in prayer.
May my life be a shining light,
to this world in darkness, lost.
And I will serve the Lord my God,
no matter what the cost.


It Was Your Life by Mac Lynch (i think)
Before I took a breath,
before I took a step.
Unnumbered prayers were spoken,
were spoken just for me.
And as I rested peacefully,
there in your loving arms.
You dreamed of what tomorrow would bring,
and what my future could be.

You watched me as each tiny step grew stronger,
you guided me, through choices I would make.
And though I didn't know the road that i'll embark,
your prayers would always light the path I take.

Your hands reached out to lift me when I falter,
your arms would hold me when I was afraid.
Your eyes would see right through the dark and stormy clouds,
and point me to a brighter day.
Your steps would set the path that I would follow.
Your words of hope, my broken dreams could mend.
You heart of love would always show me -- Jesus.
But, it was your life, that led me to Him.

My childhood days are gone,
and time keeps moving on.
It seems as though the months, the years,
quickly slip away.
The life of faith you offered,
examples of God's love.
Is the life I long to share,
with my children in the future.

Your hands reached out to lift me when I falter,
your arms would hold me when I was afraid.
Your eyes would see right through the dark and stormy clouds,
and point me to a brighter day.
Your steps would set the path that I would follow.
Your words of hope, my broken dreams could mend.
You heart of love would always show me -- Jesus.
But, it was your life, that led me to Him.

and its still your life, that leads me to Him.
-- to Jesus.

:) i love you so much mum, and actucally there's not much i can say after these two songs cos they really sum up what i want to tell you. Especially, the second one. it was your life that led me to Him, and its still your life that leads me to Him.

thank you for--
loving me just as i am.
loving all of us (Christine, Caleb & me) equally.
being such a wonderful wonderful godly example for me.
showing me that the Holy Spirit can change my melancholic temperament beyond recgonition, just as He did with you.
praying for me even when i was still in your tummy.
allowing all of us siblings to love each other. :) [i love you, Christine & Caleb]
teaching me my p's and my q's.
always being so supportive of me in whatever i am embark on.
encouraging me in my talents of music, art and running.
your hugs and kisses. <3!

the list can go on and on, but i'd like to thank someone else too.
I'd like to thank God for you.
for deeming me worthy to receive a mum like you. :)
to be place in a family with love.

and i have to say that growing up hasn't been easy for me.
the revellious spirit kicks in.
and i want to say that im sorry for the times i've been rude to you or even questioned what you had in mind for me.
i don't know why, but i find it harder to talk to you and share as im growing up, but maybe in time to come, times will go back like they used to and how i used to pour out my heart with you on your bed.
its not really that i dun wanna share whats going on in my life with you.
but maybe..its wierd? ahaha. but i do hope to share more with you. :)

and even though i question the curfew of 10.30 you and dad set for me, and how u dun really allow me to stay overr at my friends place.. how you always want to know where am i going, what will i be doing....i know, i know you and dad do it for my own good. for my own good. you do it out of love and want to protect me from any things that may happen so unexpectedly that would leave me nightmares for the rest of my life. no, i don't want those to happen to me either.
but i hope you realise that i'm growing up too. :) and im going to be all of 17 in about 14 days time. could i have a little request, to have more freedom? haha. its not like im not having freedom now. yes, i do have. but i still feel a lil kind of restricted, a kind of a lil still trapped in a box with a little room.

ha. forget what i just said, today is YOUR day. :)
enjoy it.
rem, i love you! (:

you dear sweet little (still little) daughter,
melody joy.

"Her children arise up, and call her blessed...Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:28a, 30

I've just come from the Throne Room.

down from the mountain, to live in the valley. :)

wow wow wow. where do i start?
God is so so amazing! :D
i thank Him for the work that He is doing in my heart, in my life.
so much from the exchange life has got me thinking...

i wish i could shoutout and tell all christians about this Christ Life!
cos its the normal Christian Life! (:
its like, taking it in today's terms,
we are offered an iPhone. but we reject it and want to carry on using our Nokia 3310!
*Nokia 3310 is a really really old model.
haha. getting the picture a little?

okayy, let me try to describe life for most Christians (including me)
this is from my experience growing up from a Christain background...
we come into this world, for those of us who have Christian families,
we are made familar to the things of God from a young age.
we go to church every Sunday, sometimes we may tag along for the mid-week prayer meeting.
our parents may have family devotions with us everyday.
they teach us good Christian moral values.
we learn that a 'good person', a 'spiritual' person looks like this.
and so we grow up striving to be this person. the person everyone is pleased with. who looks soo good from the outside.

as we grow up...
some may succeed at becoming the 'good/spiritual' person others may not be too good at it.
but nevertheless, we all try..
and as we grow up, we start to be introduced to the things of this world, we start to be influenced to think the way the world thinks. and subtly, without knowing, we are no more the 'good' person that we once were. or for those who still succeed at being 'good', the outside is good, but the inside is rotting.

and we all wonder what on earth are we here for?
whats the meaning of life with all this pain and all?
why am i so lonely, so miserable?
why am i feeling so empty!!!? (though i am a Christian, and i thought Christians aren't supposed to feel empty..so why the emptiness?)

ah, ever felt like that?
i have. and the worst part is, my outside looked so good, but on the inside, i was dying. dying.
i always asked God, where is this abundant life that you promised?
how come i don't have it? how come so empty?

but my heart is so proud. you wouldn't beleive this, but i was so self-righteous that i thought i did not have sin! imagine that. or even if i had sin, it wasn't alot.
i thought that way cos i only looked on the outside.
outwardly, i was not rude, not angry, not rebellious....
so that equated to = good?
nah!
inside was stinking! yucks! so much pride, jealously, comparision...pride was the biggest. it blinded me to think that i was somebody. that i had it.
awful right?
welcome, please meet - the FLESH.
that is the FLESH.
im just so disgusted at my flesh! eeeee!

okay back to the iPhone and Nokia 3310 thing..
you see, before I got saved(accepted Jesus to save me from sin) i was a Nokia 3310 model. everyone starts out as a Nokia 3310 model. in this model, we are dead. spiritually dead i mean. and sin's penalty and power still has control over the Nokia 3310.

but.. when I put my trust in Jesus Chirst,

He makes me a new creation! :) praise God!
do you believe so?
you may not feel it, you may not think it,
but it is true!
why? cos God said it, and God can't lie.
He said in 2 Cor 5:17
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away, behold, all things are become new."
yupp, the analogy is limited and cannot expressed all that happened at Salvation, but think with me.. when we trusted in Christ, the model of our phone, from being a lau pok pok Nokia 3310 we become an iPhone! (: we become a totally new creature. new on the inside(smth this analogy cannot express)

so..
we are the iPhone right?
being an iPhone we have become alive and sin's penalty and power has no more rule over us.
but then many of us, yeah we are the iPhone on the outside right, but we don't like the inside of the iPhone, we don't like the functions...so, we go and get the inside changed back to the old Nokia 3310 functions. and we go on though life like that...

im sorry this analogy does not totally signify the spiritual truth here, but this is the best i can think of for now. :p will try to think of a better one soon.

ya, but basically the point is this:
many of us are given a new life in Chirst, but what does that mean to us? how does it change the way we live? it is sad that many of us go on living the same way..go on living in the flesh, and giving in to all our fleshy desires. oh, at this point, i'd like to define the flesh - the flesh is everything i am apart from Christ. yeah, so we were saying, we go on living in the flesh, and then we ask, why so empty? why no peace and joy?

and the scary thing is that we can do seemingly good things in the flesh. things like even ministry or serving God... something i fell victim to.

so you may ask, so how do we know what is done in the flesh and what is done in the Spirit?

Its not about what we do or do not do, but rather, why we do it and on whom are we depending on to do it.

take some time to think about it...
Its not about what we do or do not do, but rather, why we do it and on whom are we depending on to do it.
it all boils down to what is our functional source of life? what are we depending on to be successful in life?

and just one more point and i'm done. haha. (: thanks for bearing with me.
it's this.

so you may ask, how do i know if i'm in the Spirit?
one good way is this.
have you, today, yesterday, in the past week, been esteeming others better than yourself?
When you're in the Spirit, you'll esteem others better than themselves.
and this is somthing i've been not able to do. cos of my pride. so i was thinking about it, issn't it so hard to esteem others better than myself..then, euerka! when i am depending on Jesus to live His life through me, He will allow me to esteem others better than myself. and it issn't a tiring thing, cos hey, its not me! its Jesus living through me! :) anyway, here it says in Philppians 2 that this humility is one that Chirst had...and if Christ lives through me, then its possible! :D

3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

well, i know this has been a lllooongg post, but theres just so much cool stuff im learning! and i can't help but to share it! (: cos think of it, how revolutionary it will be if we applied what we learnt to our lives? living life in the Spirit, moment by moment, situation by situation.. what a joy life will be! :D

something to think abt as i finally end off (haha!)

It is not about me living my life for God. It is about Jesus Christ living His life through me.

not me living my life for God.
it is about Jesus Chist living His life through me... through me.
what have i to do then? simply, let Him.
let Him live His life through me.

May we let Him live His life through us! (: God, may you be glorified in our lives.

"I am Thine, O Lord and I have heard Thy voice and it told Thy love to me...draw me nearer, nearer Blessed Lord to Thee..to Thee. Take my heart, and make it Thine."

i wanted to do a post, but after finding this song on YouTube, i decided to post it.
i first heard this song when Beverly sang it at Martha's wedding. then i saw the lyrics on Chia Wen's blog.

Grace:



GRACE

here are the lyrics, though its also in the video...

My heart is so proud.
My mind is so unfocused.
I see the things You do through me
as great things I have done.
And now You gently break me,
then lovingly You take me
and hold me as my Father
and mold me as my Maker.

I ask you:
"How many times will you pick me up,
when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
how far will forgiveness abound?"
And you answer:
"My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."

At times I may grow weak
and feel a bit discouraged,
knowing that someone,
somewhere could do a better job.
For who am I to serve You?
I know I don't deserve You.
And that's the part that burns in my heart
and keeps me hanging on.

I ask you:
"How many times will you pick me up,
when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
how far will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer:
"My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."
You are so patient with me, Lord.

As I walk with You,
I'm learning what Your grace really means.
The price that I could never pay
was paid at Calvary.
So, instead of trying to repay You,
I'm learning to simply obey You
by giving up my life to You
For all that You've given to me.

I ask you:
"How many times will you pick me up,
when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
how far will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."

today marks the start of a very exciting Journey! (: and im excited!
today was the first day of "The Exchange Life" course with a.Lisa. and im so looking forward to the days to come. Its just amazing how God has prepared my heart for this. Without knowing whatever text she's gonna use, somehow, i started listening to the audio version of the Bible - Romans 6-8. I came across these chapters one day when i was very down and decided to go to botanics to spend some time with God. There, I knew i had to read God's Word, but I didn't know where to start and what to read. I decided to read the book of Romans. I read form the 1st Chapter to Chapter 8. I felt that there was something special abt chapters 6-8. and rightly so. today I learnt that Romans 6-8 address the issue of after becoming a Christian, now what? now how do i live that Christ life?

I hope to share my experiences from 'the exchanged life' and what i've learnt, here so you too may be blessed. rest assured, all that is shared in class among all my classmates is confidental, i'll only share here nugguts of truth gleamed and my own personal sharing. (:

here goes!

have you ever wondered if that abundant life that Jesus talked about in John 10:10 is really available for the Christian today? I have and many times, the devil will come and whisper in my ear.."no, its not possible".. what rubbish! IT IS POSSIBLE. what makes it possible? I tell you. It's the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ that makes it possible. For me, growing up in a Christian enviroment, sadly to say, i've never taken the death, burial and resurrection of my dear Lord Jesus to heart. Maybe like me, you've heard it countless times that you can even repeat the whole gospel message from memory. but i'd like to ask you, do you actually understand the fulness of the message? what the death, burial and resurrection of Christ means to me today? i don't think i do. but i would like to, and i pray that God will make all these so real to me in the days ahead as I think about and study more about His work on the cross and how it affects my life today.

well, in today's reading, i gleamed many truths, some of which i have not fully grasped yet. but well, here are some.

As taken from "Victory in Christ by Charles Trumpbull:
What are the conditions for a Victorious Life?
Surrender and Faith
but you may say, i've surrendered already. Why is there still no victory? The reason is that while there is no victory without surrender, there may be surrender without victory. Sometimes we may have "let go" but we may not have "let God". We may have surrendered our sins to Christ, but not our wills. Every habit of our lives, every ambition, dream, loved one, possession and our very self- He must have all these if He is to make Himself not only our Savior, but our life.


Many times when sharing the gospel with an unsaved one, we talk about how Jesus' death on the cross has freed us from the penalty of sin. Yes, that's true. But do we not know too that His death has freed us from the Power of Sin. and even if we know it, do we live like we know it?
what does it mean to be freed from the power of sin? simply put, sin has no more control over us. we are now able not to have to sin any longer. This truth should be absolutely revolutionary for the believer! (: Praise God, I am free from the power of sin!

How then can and does this being freed from the power of sin take effect in my life?
Jesus offers to set us free not only from the penalty of out sin, but also from its power. Each of these two gifts are offered on the same terms: We accept only by letting Him do it all, as an outright gift. Every Christian has accepted the first offer. But many have failed to accept the second. Why is that so? I think it's because like me, many times, I believe that my own effort, and will and determination-with Christ's help, of course-is the way to victory. This just blew my mind. You mean i can't do anything? I have to simply accept that Jesus has done it all? Yes, Christ's offer to us here and now is immediate and complete freedom from the power of known sin. Praise God! Therefore, let us start praising Him for victory, instead of praying for it. He already has given us the Victory! (:

this has been a lengthy and heavy post. There still is more, but we'll probably save it for another time. ;) for now, if you don't like to read and skipped through everything written above, I hope you walk away with one thought, that is - the Victorous Christian Life IS POSSIBLE for all Christians today! Possible because we have been freed from the power of sin if we but accept Christ's offer. Possible too cos of other reasons which have yet to be addressed. :D

__
okay, on a side note, there has been something else that has been on my mind.

To her who is in love with him;
To him who is in love with her.

We all have special people in our hearts, don't we?
People who have made a difference in our lives, somehow.
For the married, it may be your spouse, your kids.
For the single, the apple of you eye of another gender?
For youth, it could be anybody? haha.

I too have someone. Someone who has made a huge impact on my life. Someone whom I really thank God for.

Well, I've been thinking...

If only I could love to talk to God as much as I love to talk to him/her.
What would our prayer life be like, i wonder?
Wouldn't we not be talking to God 24/7?

If only we could love to spend time with God as much as we love to spend time with him/her.
If only we could love to be in God's presence as much as we love to be in the presence of the one we love.
Will we not then go into the presence of our Creator King whenever we can?
Will we not run to His presence just to feel the warm of His glow and smell the sweet fragrace of Christ?

If only we could love to go to God's House as much as we love to go to the house of him/her.
Will we not be found in the House of God as often as we can go there?

If only we could love to hear what God has to say to us as much as we love to hear him/her talk to us.
Will not the Bible become our favourite and most well read book?

If only we could...love God for who He is, putting all else this world could afford aside.
If only... it is not an if! It is a can. Yes, we can. May we this day purpose in our heart to love Jesus with a love so strong that no love for any other in this world could compete. Let us love Jesus, for who He is, for all He has done.

Love demands love.
God commendeth His love towards us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
How much do you love me, Jesus?
"This much" replied Jesus, and with that we see His arms outstreched on that cruel cross.
Every drop of blood shed, every strip He bore for you and me cries out in love.
Oh, it was all out of love, for love. For you and me.

Friend, if you have not, why not pause and take some time now to thank God for His love and let Him know your heart. That you want to love Him supremely above everything else this world may offer.

Jesus, my heart has grown so so cold. Please warm my heart again, to You, to Your love. I thank you love me the way I am. Please be real to me, dear Jesus. I desire You, I long for You, and yet, my heart is so cold. Please melt my heart. I want to love you as I should. Know You as I should. Draw me to an ever deeper relationship with You. You have my heart, here it is; make it Yours. I love You.

okay, i had the inspiration to blog some days ago. but i didn't have the time.
now i have the time, still have the inspiration, but its not as strong. ahaha.

Homeschooling: one step forward, two steps back. i seriously empthise with people who owe huge debts. it seems never ending. haha.

let's look on the brighter side! :D

God has been doing a work in my heart! and i thank Him for that!
i now want to KNOW Him. I want to know the very person of Jesus!
you know the Christian life has so many things, so many terms, so many people-
Faith, Revival, Brokeness, Prayer, Abiding, Repentance
Jesus, the Holy Spirit...
i've often wondered to myself, so what is that ONE key that 'unlocks' the rest?
what is the ONE thing i should focus on, give all my energy to.
i think i may have found it;
i've found it in the person of JESUS CHRIST.
think about it. the focal point in History: Jesus
the famous saying: "it's all about -Jesus"

its, Jesus. what Pastor Paul concludede the msg on Sunday with still sticks with me.
Philippians 3:4-12

4Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more:
5Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee;
6Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless.
7But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.
8Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
9And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
10That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;
11If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.
12Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

That's in Paul's context. Now let's apply it to my life, a paraphrase of Phil 3:4-12:
I may have alot of stuff I can be proud about:
I was born in a Christian Family. My dad's a pastor. Saved at the age of 3. Have always been the guai girl (haha!) yadayadayada....
But I count all these things as useless! Rubbish! they pale in comparision to knowing Christ! Knowing Christ who is Lord of my life. And that I may be righteous in Him by faith.
Oh that I may know Him. Not know about Him! but to truly know Him, to know Jesus as He really is and to be all He said he would be.
Not only to know Him, but to know the power of His resurrection, this same power that worketh in me.
And also to know His sufferings. To have a share in His sufferings, becoming like him in his death.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, Im far from perfect. But I press on to know Jesus just as how He knows me through and through.

i've been thinking alot about Knowing Christ recently.

Jesus, i want to know You. I've had enough of knowing about You. Now I want to know You in a real and personal way. I thank You for Your promise that if I draw near to You, You will draw near to me. I love You.