i know, im supposed to be studying now. :/ woops. but i K.Oed the moment i reached home at 2 just now. anyway, i hope to make this a short one. a quick one.

I stopped eating for 2 days.
and I'm amazed

at the way i've stopped to grow.

and what amazed me more is the way im rotting on the inside.

though nothing on the outside seems to have changed, its something only i know.

its funny cos I dun seem to be hungry :(

i don't like this 'feeling', this distance between Us.

i want to come back. i know i can.

there's just this barrier between us.

its not like we haven't been talking.

its just that i haven't had time or maybe i should say (haven't MADE the time)

to sit at your feet and listen to what you have to say.

so Lord, i pray, please tear down this barrier of laziness, unbelief

and all that stops me from drawing close to You.

give me a hunger, a consuming hunger for Your Word.
help me to be faithful and consistent in spending time with You.

im sorry for the time i abandoned You.

i love You and want to love You more.

please teach me how.

______________________________________________

well well, went to the sin seh yesterday to get my jaw fixed, so now its fixed! yay! and i can eat all i want. gaga. no la, just kidding. well, came across something yesterday that deeply chalenged my heart. while waiting for my turn at the sin seh, i went to cornerstone's bookshop -faithworks to check out the books there. saw a cute little book entitled "KiteSong" and beside it i saw a paper saying that the money collected from the sale of this book, and a cd would go to needy children in Nepal and Cambodia. so i was like-oh, okayy. but what really challenged me was when i read the book, i came to the end and this is what it said:

"Words from the Author:

This book is my gift to you, and my way of saying a sincere word of thanks for your compassion and love for needy children around the world. Like many of you, the burden of third world children has weighed on my heart. I had been writing regularly to an 18 year-old Cambodian girl, Somaly, whom I had met on a Youth Expedition trip to Cambodia in 2004. She was a bright and diligent girl, full of hopes for a future better than her farmer parents’ plight. While I myself was preparing for my A-level examinations, however, I received a letter from her. Her hopes for a university education were dashed as “my mother is ill, I have to harvest everyday… There is no rain and still there is no rain.” Being financially, physically and mentally strained, Somaly was eventually hospitalized for a few days. My attempts to coordinate a sponsorship for her higher education failed at the time but it is my hope that through this project, many children like her would have a chance at receiving an education they would otherwise be deprived of.

During my solo 5-week volunteer trip to Nepal on the Mission Internship Training Experience programme by Methodist Missions Society this January in 2006, I saw how various ministries and homes had shed light onto the lives of orphans and women who were abused, widowed or destitute. I grew to respect the people who saw their sacrifice to look after the poor and orphaned as merely an “adjustment”. This book is a small effort of mine to make their jobs a little bit easier, and a tribute to their dedication and love for the less fortunate. It is my prayer that they will be always feel encouraged and continue in their good work. As a product of some of my dreams realized, I hope this book will be an inspiration to youths in particular, who dream of stepping out to make a difference to the lives of others. With much prayer and hard work, many things are possible.

Education is the key to stepping out of poverty. It gives children hope, esteem and a future. Thank you for giving another child in a third world country the chance to receive the care and attention needed for a decent education. Your love has given them a chance at realizing their dreams.

Wai Jia August, 2006"

If that was it, it would have moved me but not as much as when i saw in the next line that

"Wai Jia is a 19 year old girl who grduated from VJC and is now studying to become a medical doctor. She hopes on day to be a missions doctor."

Wow! that blew my mind. she was 19 when she drew the book and helped in a huge way the publishing of that book. That deeply challenged me. Young as she is, she was doing whatever she could to help better the lives of children in another third-world country. She didn't need to, but this is the love, the love of God which overflows from a heart abiding in Him.

Sometimes i wonder, is there more that we can do to impact the lives of others, or are we just stasfied with our lives at status co, living in our comfort zone while there are many out there (people whom we haven't heard of, situations which we haven't seen) who are suffering in povery and would very much be blessed and happy if someone came along to encourage them, give them education to get out of the poverty cycle..

i wonder....

This is Wai Jia's blog: http://kitesong.blogspot.com/

some of her posts blessed my heart, especially the one about the potter on March 26, 2009.

and i can also relate to her post on April 12, 2009. how at times, i doubt God's calling and question it. :/ haha.

The website which talks more about the kitesong project is: http://kitesongproject.wordpress.com/